One Year Ago Today

One year ago today, my personal trip through Hell began. It started with a trip to the walk-in clinic on the fifth, but it really began, in my mind, after the CT results on the 7th... and the phone call that would send me into the hospital system. It ended after an emergency operation to remove a benign ovarian cystadenoma one week later - and after the incision finally healed, having come open when the staples were initially removed. In this trip, which cost me a job and other things, I learned many things.

I learned that a flu isn't always just a flu.

I learned what rationalization and hoping things would go away can lead to.

I learned that uncertainty can be worse than anything.

I learned that a 25-pound monster was trying to kill me from within.

I learned how fast "normal" can disappear.

I learned some new least favorite words ("Suspect metastatic changes") and my new favorite words ("No evidence of malignancy.")

I learned what it means to rely on family and have friends.

I learned what it means to owe your life to total strangers.

I learned that attitude, positive thinking, and other factors can trump modern medical science in a crunch.

I learned that there is more to this world than we tend to acknowledge.

I learned what a joy it was just to be able to sit up without pain.

I learned how much my cats miss me when I can't sleep in the room with them.

I learned the miracle of painkillers, Tegaderm, and saline rinse bottles.

I learned how wonderful it was to be able to swallow without fear, and keep food down.

I learned that Christmas is still Christmas even if you can't do much more than show up at the family gathering.

I learned how much I took for granted, and how easily it can all be lost.

I spent today shopping for gifts, working on holiday ornaments, and starting a load of laundry. I bought groceries. I spent some time working on my computer and petting the cats. I took a walk around the neighborhood. A year ago yesterday, I never thought I'd be thankful for an ordinary day like today, but I learned that, and more. Starting one year ago today.