Quote of the Moment

"It's never wrong to hope, Byx," said my mother. "Unless the truth says otherwise."
- from Endling #1: The Last, by Katherine Applegate

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Further Adventures in Tech Support

Ah, IPower... how I love and loathe thee at times...

Recently, I realized that IPower had migrated to a new, supposedly improved system in the fall. I was never notified, which I found odd, considering that they evidently needed to schedule migration times for all pre-existing domains. But, I knew now, so I could log in and schedule the migration time. Or so I thought. None of my passwords worked when I attempted to log in. When I used the "resend info" option, I never received anything. Finally, I broke down and e-mailed tech support. I was told that they were, in fact, dutifully sending out all my info... to my old e-mail address, which I haven't had for two or three years and which I had sworn I updated when I was updating all my various and sundry internet accounts. So I asked, since I've dealt with tech support a few times in the intervening years through my current addy, if I could have that little detail updated. Sure, they replied... if I faxed a copy of my photo ID, along with all my other info.

Hold the phone... a copy of my photo ID? You didn't need that when I signed up in 2003. What would my photo ID prove to you? Am I supposed to trust a random fax to who-knows-where, containing all the information required to steal my identity, to reach its intended destination in the labyrinthine bowels of IPower for its intended purpose? I could also send it as an image attachment on an e-mail, but that was merely an electronic version of the potential security nightmare of an open fax. The more I thought about it, the less happy I was with it. I decided to try another option. The phone.

Now, I don't like phone-in tech support. I have iffy luck with it, possibly due to a mild speech impediment and certainly due to my nonexistent social skills. But this was a case of identity security, here, and I wasn't sending in any info until I had it confirmed by a presumably-live voice on the end of a help line. Dutifully, I recorded the number and waited for a time when I would be free of distractions. Finally, today, when all the relatives were out of the house working the polls and all the animals were in their customary afternoon stupors (differentiated from their morning and evening stupors by choice of location), I opened up my e-mail correspondence, got out my original documentation for my domain, and, at long last, picked up the phone.

12:41 - I am informed by a disembodied voice that I need to dial 1 first. Oops.

12:42 - I learn that the phone number I wrote down is no longer valid, even with the 1. Back to the internet I go to find a valid one. (Thank goodness for cable modems - on dial-up, this would not be possible.)

12:44 - I finally have my valid phone number, so I dial up.

12:45 - After poking through the menu to tech support for older domains, I find myself on hold, where I am treated to the strains of the Synthesizer Suite remix. Every once in a while, a voice breaks in to say that they are still experiencing heavy phone volume, that I might check the online help database for help, and that they appreciate my patience. In order: no duh, if I could I wouldn't have called, and suuure ya do.

12:55 - For the umpteenth time, I'm told that they appreciate my patience. Does anyone really believe that? Back to the synthesizer.

12:57 - Once again, they appreciate my patience. So much so that they feel they must test it to its utmost. I appreciate them appreciating my patience, but I'd rather they didn't appreciate it so much. But I still refuse to give up. This is a matter of risk of ID theft, here, so I ain't goin' away until I hear it from someone other than the elusive, ever-name-shifting tech support e-mailers that I'm supposed to send in a copy of my photo ID. At this point, I start wondering if I'd be better off getting a brand-new account, cancelling the old one, and pointing my domain there. But, then, how can I cancel an account I can no longer log into? Ah, they have the perfect little trap, here, don't they? The definition of rock and a hard place, indeed.

1:00 - Time for my Airborne dose, and still nothing. But they still appreciate my patience.

1:06 - I finally get through to a live person. I am disturbed that they no longer appreciate my patience.

1:10 - I manage to track down my old credit card number as proof that I am who I say I am. Remarkably, it never got updated to the new card, which makes no sense as it was billed last fall.

1:12 - Off the phone, and finally it is done. Theoretically, I now have everything switched to my new e-mail address, and I never had to fax in anything. Next time I fail to log in properly, I'll hopefully get everything I need sent to me, not whoever now has my old addy. I feel so accomplished I decide to veg out on the computer writing a blog entry about my adventure in tech support.

If you made it this far, I apologize for a lack of synthesized background music. And I, at least, appreciate your patience.

2 comments:

PeppyPilotGirl said...

Glad you got that squared away. One of the only things more frustrating than spending hours on the phone trying to get to customer service is spending hours on the phone trying to get to customer service and getting none when you get finally get there!

(And I was LOL re: the synthesizer suite - too true!!)

Jade said...

Bwahahahaha!

I've gotta say though... Mo Rocca recently had the funniest video blog entry where he recorded himself ordering a Ped Egg over the phone - the labyrinth of recordings was astounding and frightening... they wouldn't conclude his order without offering at least 20 differnt items, and every time the recording said "let's go ahead and add this to your order..." and he'd have to scream "NO!" into the phone to keep the extra items off his order.

And I've gotta say, I appreciate that you appreciate our patience!