It's official: there is nothing left in the Pacific Northwest remotely worth filming. Not a single human interest sapfest, five-second-wonder YouTube pseudostar, vaguely historical tourist trap, or tired small-town seasonal tradition which has not already been documented by local fluff shows.
How do I know this?
Because today, Evening! Magazine sent a crew out to film us sort library books at the shipping center.
To further pound the last nail into the coffin, they even shot footage of me.
Yes, me. The lifeless loser with the speech impediment and all the style, social grace, and verbal wit of a brain-damaged banana slug. (Why me? Because nobody else would do it, that's why.)
With luck, the segment will be hacked down to thirty seconds of stock footage and buried in the vaults.
In any event, regardless of if or when it ever airs, I think it's pretty clear that the time has come to pull the plug.
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