Quote of the Moment

"It's never wrong to hope, Byx," said my mother. "Unless the truth says otherwise."
- from Endling #1: The Last, by Katherine Applegate

Friday, June 16, 2006

Okay, I'm game for a meme

They seem to be a mainstay of blogging culture, so I suppose I ought to try this one, from K2's blog.

I know – a lot less than I ought to.
I believe – that beliefs can be wonderful and dangerous things.
I fought – with my sister (but that's what they're for!) ;-)
I am angered – by rampant human short-sightedness and stupidity and its increasing toll on innocent nonhuman life forms.
I love – exploring the imagination.
I need – a direction.
I take – too much time making decisions.
I hear – the TV in the other room, the computer fan, and a rather silly-sounding snoring cat.
I drink – way too much cocoa.
I hate – hatred.
I use – too many words, and, most likely, too many punctuation marks... and ellipses...
I want – a life.
I decided – that I cannot sacrifice my life for an eternity as a cog in the retail machine, even if it means a steady paycheck.
I like – more things than I have money to buy, space to own, or time to do.
I wear – T-shirts and jeans, or sweats when I'm at home.
I left – yes, and I proudly stay left. ;-)
I do – less than I should.
I hope – I can someday capture the images in my head with words, paint, or clay.
I dream – some very bizarre things.
I drive – a car that seriously needs a paint job.
I listen – less than I should.
I type – because I can't read my own handwriting.
I think – therefore I am.
I need - to figure out where the frell I'm going.
I wish – I had enough time, money, and ambition to work out the previous item.
I am - therefore I think.
I compensate – by rationalizing or, when all else fails, daydreaming.
I regret – wasted time.
I care – enough to be simultaneously depressed, hacked off, and deeply concerned.
I should – probably be doing something else.
I am not always - easy to deal with. Assuming I ever am easy to deal with, that is...
I said – nothing.
I wonder – perpetually.
I changed – a litter box the other day.
I cry – when I care.
I am not – where I should be in my life.
I lose – time, constantly.
I leave – and yet, I'm not a tree.

Well, that was relatively painless...

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

There Are These Things To Do...

I'm going through one of those you-moron-why-are-you-still-wasting-your-lousy-little-life phases, where the things I need to do have piled up to the point of completely overwhelming me. So I thought I'd follow some advice and try writing down what all needs doing, in some semblance of order. Writing it down might help it seem less overwhelming. Writing it down online might give me some accountability.

  1. Finish Logo. I draw the logos for a summer day camp, which my mother burns onto a silk-screen stencil and runs T-shirts/pillowcases/whatever-the-kids-and-staff-bring-in on one day during camp. (I actually inherited the designing part from Mom roughly 15 years ago.) For a long time, I drew logos for two camps, but for inexplicable reasons the first one stopped doing silk-screening. Anyway, I finished the logo for the second camp some time ago, so I figured my part was done. About a month ago, the camp that hadn't been silk-screening called up to ask about it. They must be new managers; they had no idea that not only had this camp been doing silk-screen logos for a very, very long time prior to the hiatus, but that Mom used to be the craftsperson and site director for several years. So, anyway, the upshot of the conversation was that I had to design a logo, preferrably with a mascot-like animal (in this case, an eagle) for the camp. I have never had to ink so many designs to get to something I remotely like in my life. I finally have a halfway presentable anthro eagle scanned in for cleanup, but they also wanted a background ("the lake, and a few trees"), which always looks way too cluttered when I try adding it. I also have to do the lettering, but in Paint Shop Pro that's not too tough. Camp's only about a month away, so I'd best get cracking on that first.
  2. Finish That Story. I have two beta-readers helping me on that, but I still have to not only finish writing the second draft, but go back and get a third/presentation draft ready to go, as I fully intend to at least attempt professional publication on this one. (If that doesn't go through, I'm seriously considering e-publishing or serializing it through my websites. I like this story.) Don't get me wrong. I love writing, and I enjoy this story. It just doesn't seem to write or edit itself, no matter what I say to it. I probably ought to up my personal writing quota; right now, I feel accomplished if I get through at least 3 pages (or the length of a particular scene) a night.
  3. Start Other Stories. If I'm going to call myself a writer, I suppose I really ought to try writing. Writing more, at least - very few authors can get away with writing one story and stopping there. The story in editing has potential for backstory/spinoff tales, which might be a place to start. I've been kicking around ideas for a short story collection centered around Tirialle and Skyhaven (that won't make sense if you don't know about my websites, but I'm assuming you do. If not, look at my links, click on Brightdreamer.com, and head toward Skyhaven,) which I would most likely self/e-publish and sell for a nominal fee through my websites. I was also going to do a coloring/activity book centered on Skyhaven's critters, just for the heck of it. Unfortunately, short story collections require short stories to collect, and thus far most of my writing energy has been diverted to #2. I figure I can probably wait on this until I'm closer to finished with that book.
  4. Work on Websites. It goes without saying that I need to do some major website work. The Realm has deteriorated to little more than book reviews, and Skyhaven... well, it's Skyhaven. It always needs and wants a little TLC. I also have a book on using Flash running around, and a dangerous little corner of my mind keeps whispering dangerous little ideas about creating dangerous little Flash games for my sites. So far, I've been able to resist, but my will is weakening. If nothing else, I ought to get an update together for the summer. Maybe I could get a few new reviews and a few Skyhaven templates together by the end of July.
  5. Do More Sculpting. Downstairs I have a nice little workbench, with nice tools, a nice chair, a nice radio/CD player, nice lighting, and a nice collection of dust. I bought a bunch of stone beads to use in creations, because everyone tells me I could sell the stuff I make and I always want to make more things anyway, but somehow I always seem to have other stuff to do. I probably need to just get an alarm clock, pick a time, and make myself sit down there for a given time, even if I'm just staring at wire and Paperclay, until I get myself over this irrational fear of destroying the space-time continuum by sculpting a not-quite-perfect dragon. (Hey - it could happen!)
  6. Find A Source of Income. Okay, this one's self-explanatory. If I can't get my tail in gear enough to create my own income, then I need a real job. However, getting a real job might kill my creativity, and I'm having a hard time convincing myself otherwise. The Universe tried to kill me once to get my attention; I don't want to find out what it'll do to me if I take another misstep in my life. I'm keeping an ear open, and an eye on the classifieds, but I should get a little more aggressive, I suppose.
  7. Paint. Another thing everyone tells me I could do is paint things to sell, particularly drum heads. I would love to paint drum heads. I've seen many beautifully painted drum heads. I have almost no practice in color theory, and nowhere to put an easel, and no money to buy good acrylics, but it's something I feel I ought to try. Maybe if I worked more in Paint Shop Pro with color and my tablet I could at least get over my irrational fear of color work.
  8. Clean Up, Cut Down. I keep looking at my many, many boxes of Things and telling myself that even if I can't bring myself to throw it out, someone, somewhere will probably pay at least shipping costs for it. Likewise, my computer could probably use a little virtual spring cleaning. Clutter keeps me from Doing Things (preventing possible failure as well as possible success), and while I fully recognize that this is a self-harming defense mechanism, I can't seem to stop. I have stemmed the tide of incoming crud somewhat (the questions "where would I put it?" and "what would I do with it?" are sufficient to stop most impulse clutter buys, and a low bank account helps as well), but there's still plenty of the stuff lying around. I need to just pick a day, pick a box, and start sorting.
  9. Read. I have an ever-increasing backlog of books to read, but every time I sit down I have something else to do. Either that, or someone shows up and insists on speaking to me. (Have I mentioned I'm not the most social critter in the world?)
  10. Stop Blogging, Get Offline, and Get Going on Tackling This List. Oops... guess I should've seen this one coming... If you'll excuse me, I think I have other things I ought to be doing.